I haven’t been as good about updating about your progress and monthly birthdays, but that’s only because I have been having so much fun hanging out with you and your brother.
A friend of mine wrote this wonderful blog post about her 11 month old and I couldn’t put it better myself.
Last night my brother’s mother passed away.
Eric came to live with us when he was 11 and I was 8. He was a foster child that had been in and out of different foster homes for the last 2 or 3 years. He and his older siblings had been placed into fostercare following the conviction of their father for child molestation and their Mother’s drug and alcohol abuse and continued choices of bad men had impacted their ability to stay with their her.
I didn’t know her well. But when it came to what I would imagine was one of the hardest decicions she ever had to make; when we asked her if she would surender custody of Eric so we could adopt him, she told him she loved him and he should go with us and move far away from the little town they all lived in. I owe her my forever gratitude for blessing me with a brother and in turn a sister and nephews.
Whenever it comes to the end of a life what matters is the legacy that was left behind by that person. What is said, what stories are told and what has that person left behind for others to read and reflect apon. I often wonder who would be at my funeral and what would be said about me. When eating after the funeral what stories will be told. What will my kids say about their mother, what will my community members say about me? Will there be anyone there?
So funerals always make me take a moment and evaluate my life and how I am living. I am just learning who I want to be and what kind of change I want to see and make in this world. Today I will live that change.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Recently I decieded to go back to work. It’s what is right for our family right now and I have found a really awesome job that pays well and is a lot of fun. No I’m not changing the world just assisting clients, but it’s nice to be out of the house and earning some money. One of the many things I was not looking forward to when going back to work was what are we going to do with the kids? Luckly for us my mom wants to watch the kids at least part time. So we worked it out with her that we compensate her for the three days a week she watches the kids, but what about the other two days a week. So our daycare search started.
Dave and I had a talk about what is important to us when searching for daycare.
So with our list of criteria I started looking for childcare providers and ones who had openings. Our situation two kids two days a week provided an even more complex issue because we would be taking up a lot of space for a small day care only two days per week. Meaning the provider couldn’t fill those spots with full time kids once we were enrolled. So first I tried the states license site for childcare providers and just started calling people to ask some questions and feel them out. Most that I called said they wouldn’t take two, two days a week. I made some appointments with a few providers for after work on days my husband could go with us.
The first:
This provider was within 5 minutes of our house and she was open for business 24 hours a day. She charged only $20 per day per child and provided snacks but not meals.
When we arived at her home at 6 at night there where three kids there between the ages of 2-10. She had them pinned in the back room of her home where she had NO toys, that’s right not one toy. The only thing in the room was a computer on a desk. No changing table, no napping area and no toys. We talked with her and went over my husbands set of questions with her. All the while the older two kids played on the internet and the two year old wined to try to get her attention. She didn’t even look at them. We were out of there in 20 minutes.
The second:
At this point I was sick of calling so many places that I turned to my dear friend Craigslist. I LOVE craigslist. So I started looking throught the childcare section and email a few providers with a basic set of questions.
Something like this:
Hello,
I am looking for 2 day a week childcare for my two boys who are 9 month and 2.5. I am going back to work end of September.
Are you open to 2 day a week care for two children? Are you licensed by the state? If so for how many children? How many children do you care for now? Do you have anyone else that works at your center?
Could we meet for an interview?
The second provider was awesome she had everything down and she had a plan. She had wanted to be a childcare provider all her life and had a website. She provided snacks but not meals, she had a backyard and planned on taking the kids out to play. She had a dog, she kept in another room but he was super cute.
The only thing she was missing was kids, in her daycare. We would have been the first. We did a trial half day and it went well but she didn’t do nap time and my kids didn’t eat their lunch( this was kind of a red flag as my kids LOVE to eat). We signed the enrollment papers and set up a start day. We went on vacation. She sent me an email while on vacation saying she couldn’t watch my kids because she had taken on a full time child and she would have to many kids under the age of 2. <—– Insert super sad face, Xander loved this place.
So we felt crappy and our search continued.
The third:
The third, wow. Her craigslist posting started like this; Daycare – Great Price, Low Ratio. I have openings, from 6 weeks to teens. I provide a safe & warm environment, fun, educational activities, potty train, homework assistant, nutritious meals & snacks.
I offer part-time day care services for families that work part-time, need assistance after school for a few hours, just a few days per week, and evening day care. I also offer occasional weekend day care.
Sounds great right. Well we arived there just after 6 and there was a bunch of kids there. Turns out she has 4 of her own and she also had 4 others she was watching. The majority of these kids where all under 4.
Her husband was there and he seemed nice, and she was nice and had good answers to almost all of our questions. This interview was over for me when taking the tour of her house(she let the kids wander all over the house by themselves) we went into the basement just as brother in law Billy, a 40 year old man who lives in her basement was walking upstairs with some little girl. Apprently when Uncle Billy needs some extra cash he watches the horde while she head out on the town.
The topper, there was a GIANT ASS SPIDER in the toys. My husband could not have gotten us our of the house soon enough.
Our Lady!:
She was just a little out of my husband’s normal route to work, she provides all meals and snacks along with whole milk and water, she had a dicipline policy that we agree with and a potty training plan for my older son. She charges us $60 a day for both kids. And she is so nice.
When we interviewed our daycare provider we finally decieded on we brouhgt our kids along. She has a playroom in the from room of her home that is super clean and open with lessons and children’s artwork on the walls. She has her state registration and her and her husbands infant/child cpr cards hanging their as well. He is a really nice man and so are her two son’s who are 10 and 19. She had a daycare before she every had children and wanted nothing more than to care for families and children her whole life. We love her, she has two assistance who are really nice and she has a 6 child limit so I know my children are getting lots of attention just like they would at my house.
So to make a long story, well really long. It’s a lot of work to find a daycare situation that works for you and your family. There are lots of people providing care for families and children out there and not all situations are good or bad. Remember that lots of bad stuff happens so be careful and do your research but also remember that this person your inviting into you and your childrens life is going to be there hopefully for a long time and it matters.
Below is the list of questions my husband put together to ask childcare and daycare providers:
So let’s start with the basics I got a new phone! Its ok a droid two world, I’m still getting used to it. I don’t know why they only give you 14 days to get used to a phone it takes me a lot longer.
So I started a new job on Monday! I’m an account specialist with Health Media. I was seriously looking for 8 weeks, sending out 3-5 resumes per day Sunday through Thursday.
I found day care for the kiddos two days a week, which is a who. Blog post in itself. Daycare is a had thing to do and find.
I have been not tracking and mostly off my diet for 10 days now, which really sucks. I have been so close to getting past the 170s so many times and I keep loosing my way. I also didn’t weigh in this I weight in today 179.6 ugh! I was right around 175 last time I weighed myself so 5lbs in 3 weeks. In my personal justification I ate a lot of salty foods yesterday so I know I’m bloated.
Anyway, life is going good after payday it’ll be better. Look for a post about finding daycare from me soon.
Breakfast
Hard boiled egg
Apple
Coffee with creamer and sugar, yuck
Lunch
Greek salad with chicken
1/4 pita
Snack
Cashews
Half a mexican chocolate cookie
Dinner
Salmon
1/2 cup brown rice
Green beans
White wine
Snack
Sugar free fudgecicle
Chocolate covered cherries
One rice cake with black bean dip
I’ve been bad and need to weight myself, ugh. Started a new job this week so lots of change and stress. More later.
Our LLL group put on a mom2mom sale yesterday. It was hard organizing it and the other group we were working with dropped out a week before the sale, thinking it wasn’t going to be profitable enough.
Well it was fantastic and we made tons of money!!!
Yep today is the first day of the last year of my second decade on this earth.
I have to say it’s been my best birthday so far. When I was with my x husband birthdays where just bad days, made even worse though being ignored and yelled at on what’s supposed to be my special day. When I started dating my husband he made a point to make my special day extra special. He is wonderful and we have created a wonderful life and family.
The first half of this decade started out really bad, I was a lost girl that didn’t know what she wanted or how to get there. I was just following what everyone else said and it got me no where fast. I got married out of a need to escape from a situation and place that I put myself in by being stubborn and bull headed. I never broke up with him because it was habit to not, it was easy to ignore it and to just spend time bitching with my girlfriends about how bad it was. Since leaving him I have a lot less to bitch about, and I have lost some friends over it. But I have gained a live and a wonderful family. My life couldn’t be better.
Thirty is just around the corner and it’s going to be a great decade.
Here in Michigan it is crazy unbearably hot outside, and thank goodness we have A/C in our new house. However, for the previous five years we lived in our old house we only had one window unit and it did almost nothing to cool off the house. It’s really important during this time of year to watch out for signs of heat illness for both yourself and your kids.
First make sure everyone is getting plenty of fluids, preferably in the form of water. Nursing for babies under 6 months, the nursing can be more frequently but your milk will adjust for the heat. When it’s over 80 outside I never leave the house without one large water bottle partially frozen to refill the other water bottles then one for Xander and one for myself.
We also like to go and do lots of out of the house activites when it’s crazy hot outside. Strangly enough it’s the same stuff we do in the winter.
When we are at home here is what we do to keep cool
What do you do to keep cool in hot weather?
So I have a very busy day today.
I am supposed to be clearing out my whole kitchen for them to take down the cabinets and put the new ones in this weekend. The boys and I are going to stay at my parents house over the weekend so we are not in the way. Which means I should be packing and doing laundry, however I can’t get to my washer/dryer because of my lovley husband. And cleaning the house in general. All right now since my boys are both sleeping soundly.
Oh they are so cute.
I have applied for three jobs and ate a chocolate bar while they have been asleep.
Oh I hear the little one calling now.
I knew when I got laid off a year ago that being home full time with my kid/kids would be a new experience for me. But I didn’t think I would end up loving it as much as I do. After Xander was born I suffered from mild postpartum depression. I couldn’t wait to go back to work, by 6 weeks I was ready. Although I had 8 weeks time I returned at 7 weeks. I just thought I wasn’t one of those moms who could hack it as a stay at home mom. Well I have been home with them since June of last year and although its been very challenging it has been awesome! My kids rock, and now I’m having a hard time coming to terms with needing to go back to work.
On paper our bills work out; we have enough money with my unemployment. But for some reason we always run short and something always comes up. Add to the fact that I had been working a contract job on the side that was helping us slide by and now that contract is over. <super sad face> I knew at some point I would need to go back to work, I just require more money than what we make now. So I have started to look for jobs. I have two interviews this week, but both for part time jobs.
update: I had my two interviews and both of them were really weird it was like something from the twilight zone. I was having a bad day from the beginning. The kids were up all night long, then I didn’t have any pants that fit me. After trying on six pairs of pants I found one that I could breath while wearing and a shirt to go with it. My mom was running late and thought that I wasn’t going to get a shower so Dave went to work late so I could shower and put some make up on. The whole time I have butterflies in my stomach and I really want a real job making real money so I’m trying to look my best and put my best forward. Turns out I could have worn something totally casual because both of my interviewees where wearing jeans and t shirts. Both of the jobs themselves seemed really cool and could be really cool opportunities. We’ll see, I am still looking.
It also would seem like I have applied for every marketing job in Ann Arbor, the one job I really want won’t even look at me because my husband works at the company. Yea they suck.
